GUINNESS RECORDS HERE?Pictured below is a statue dedication ceremony at the Mago Earth Park in Cottonwood, AZ featuring a 39-foot tall statue. Mago, meaning mother of creation, is said to be born out of light and later divided into spiritual beings. While the man responsible for the erection chose Sedona because of its vortex energy, the structure and the park are located in Cottonwood. Though the Cottonwood mayor was on hand for the dedication of the park and statue, it has yet to be determined whether or not the structure will remain in its current setting. While many Sedonans are proud of their religious tolerance, just as many are happy Mago is in Cottonwood.
by Blodwyn Smythe,
Under Seems Like Reporter
SEDONA: Representatives from the Guinnesss Book of World Records have found their way to the crimson cliffs of Sedona, Arizona to launch an entirely new category. Not yet finalized, one insider, who wished to remain anonymous, said the new best and worst listings would be under the heading of "Seems Like Possibly."
When pressed to better define the concept, she gave an example. "While nothing has physically been done in regards to the approved 70-plus continued street lighting on SR89A, from the interviews our Guinness members conducted, it could be categorized as Seems Like Possibly The Worst Decision By A City Council in 2009."
After meeting with the Guinness people for a couple of weeks, Sir William Randolph, World Famous Publisher of the Sedona Excentric, emerged in the parking lot of Harkins' Theatres during a break between the magnificent cinematic showings offered from Sedona's premier annual event, the Sedona International Film Festival. Hailed as one of the finest examples of an area promoting the independent film makers around the globe, Sir William was sure to have a large audience at his hastily called press conference.
"I have summoned you to this hastily called press conference to answer your questions about my visit and the subsequent interviews by people from Guinness," Sir William shouted to the shivering crowd. "When I first received the call from a Guinness representative, I thought it was the stout people. I had planned on taking them on a lively tour of our own Oak Creek Brewery. Later in the conversation, I discovered it was the World Record folks."
"Was Sedona their first choice and are they planning on visiting other cities inside and out of Arizona," asked the newest reporter from Sedona's small, other paper.
"They moved Sedona to the top of their list after the national attention a couple of incidents were given. Until then, they were looking at Cornville and Page Springs."
"Are you referring to the tragedies at Angel Valley and the recent lawsuit against Ilchi Lee, founder of Dahn Yoga," asked some national magazine reporter.
Sir William stared down the reporter, "Had you people done your job proficiently, you would have reported that Angel Valley is 9 miles outside Sedona. It is actually much closer to Senator McCain's home than to Sedona. And the Dahn Yoga Mago statue is in Cottonwood, 16 miles west of Sedona. I suggested Guinness add national reporters covering these stories as "Seems Like Possibly The Latest Worst Reporting Ever.
"While it is tough work to ferret out the strange and stupid from the ridiculous and insipid, the group from Guinness scouted the area and listened to myriad stories before making their final choices.
"One example," declared the poetically pompous publisher, "is the suggestion to close Red Rock State Park. If every park made money, there would most certainly be a lot more of them. Since some are struggling, let's close them. That suggestion qualified for Seems Like Possibly The Single Sorriest Suggestion In Arizona."
"Why 'Seems Like Possibly,' rather than Seems Possibly Like or Possibly Seems Like," asked some guy, most likely from Sedona.
"To be honest," harrumphed Sir William, "your question seems like possibly the dumbest question asked today."
"Sir, was there a determination for the Mago statue," asked another guy, most likely from Cottonwood.
"Yep," he answered. "That one will go in the book as Seems Like Possibly The Worst Korean Blonde Joke In History."
"And the National Scenic Area designation?" continued the first guy, most likely from Sedona.
"You can rest assured these people are thorough. They aren't leaving any red rock unturned," Sir William offered smilingly. "The city meeting regarding the NSA recommendations was a favorite of mine. It was deemed, Seems Like Possibly The Silliest Posturing By A Sedona Public Official.
"The wise people from Guinness did recognize a pair of positive attributes. Of course, there was the Sedona Excentric, hailed as Seems Like Possibly The Best Publication In The World and the Sedona International Film Festival as Seems Like Possibly The Best Film Festival Ever, Anywhere."
With that, Sir William gestured to the crowd and ascended into his waiting limousine.
Pictured above is a Sedona sunset. Hard to believe anyone would not deem Sedona be designated a National Scenic Area. Sedona is the goose, its beauty the golden egg. |
