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by Blodwyn Smythe, Sedona Political Race Reporter

SEDONA: Hollywood stars are often seen strolling the quiet streets of Sedona, some in disguise, especially during the annual Sedona International Film Festival, in full swing this month (see Page 10 for details). A recent sighting of Al Pacino, Oscar, Emmy and Golden Globe winning actor, director and producer, prompted this story.
A local resident, asking to be called Mr. Juan Valdez to protect his identity, claims to have encountered Mr. Pacino around 2am one day at the Circle K on 89A while he was purchasing a cup of coffee. Mr. Valdez approached Mr. Pacino at the coffee area pretending not to recognize the distinguished actor.
?I knew it was him from right from the start, although he seemed a little tall. Then I thought maybe he was wearing those Audie Murphy shoe lifts as a disguise,? offered Juan. ?We talked about the coffee, the weather, the cool movies at the film festival and local issues.
?He said he was new to the area, but his mother had lived here for a few years. He seemed to be pretty aware of what was happening in and around Sedona. He was hoping that the Cultural Park would reopen soon. His friend, Sir William Randolph, World Famous Publisher of the Sedona Excentric, had told him of his idea to turn the park into a benefit park, where proceeds from the events would go to charities. He liked that and hoped the city council and owners of the park could work to make it happen soon.
?Then he said that Sedona was in serious need of a resort with a conference center. Some place that Dr. Phil or Depak Chopra could give lectures to large audiences that could stay in Sedona and at the same time offer lodging and conference space for corporate gatherings. Again he mentioned the city council and the cultural park owners. I think he could see himself or his friends performing at a possible theater included in the conference center plans.?
Mr. Valdez went on to say that he and Mr. Pacino even discussed the housing costs in Sedona, which is surprising, considering the wealth of a Hollywood mogul the likes of Al Pacino, begging again the question of identity confirmation. It was during this conversation that Mr. Valdez asked Mr. Pacino if he would consider running for Mayor of Sedona. ?He emphatically said no,? Mr. Valdez asserted. ?He said it was a thankless job. Nobody giving you credit when things go right and blaming you for everything that goes wrong. He also said that the small town mayors didn?t wield the power people associate to mayors of large cities, leaving most of the decision making to the city manager, city attorney and the head of planning and zoning.
?We discussed the castle being built in the Chapel area and the Windsong residents, and then he talked about the missing vortices. This guy was out there. He said he had heard that too many visits by extraterrestrials and people buying second, third and fourth homes in Sedona have driven the vortices out of the area, perhaps to Cornville.?
Could it be? Gone with the wind are the magic and mystique that previously surrounded this once sleepy village only to be replaced by quasi-Aspenites searching for the elusive Fountain of Wealth? Are mom-and-pop shops and restaurants doomed to be replaced by corporate chains and franchises? Will Raven?s Nest Trading Post give way to Sharper Image? Is this what some mean by progress?
It was when Mr. Valdez told us that his newfound friend revealed that he had become aware of a plan to cancel the secret relocating of Vice President Dick Cheney to Sedona because of the new tower being built at the airport mesa that we began to seriously doubt that it was indeed Al Pacino the actor that had engaged in this lengthy and candid conversation with Mr. Valdez.
It has been reported that air traffic flying over the Cheneys' residence has been rerouted by the FAA. No one is sure whether the sounds created by aircrafts really bother the Cheneys or if they are being overly protective to avert an attempted aerial assault on their massive reality-challenged, self-help library.
Pressed for details on Mr. Pacino?s appearance, Valdez revealed interesting information. Mr. Pacino?s shoe lifts would have to have been four inches to bring his five-foot, seven-inch frame to nearly six feet, the same height as Mr. Valdez. It would also appear that Mr. Pacino is now sporting a finely waxed handlebar mustache distracting from his shiny gold tooth. Finally, Mr. Valdez showed us the autographed coffee cup signed, ?Big Al.? Even if it wasn?t Al Pacino, truthiness is the mystery man would likely garner a majority of mayoral votes.

Above is a picture of Al Pacino as he appeared as sports gambling impresario Walter Abraham in Two for the Money.