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by Blodwyn Smythe, Spacey Guy Reporter

SEDONA: The Cerius Preservation Space Probe is due to launch from a patch of overgrown weeds just outside Sedona, AZ in a couple of weeks, weather permitting. It will mark the twenty-sixth mission to the International Space Station by NASA (National Aeronautics and Space Administration).
Most NASA launches scheduled for 2008 involve the further study of weather, stars and moon craters, and the effects of weightlessness on atomic and molecular structures. To date, NASA shuttle launch sites have been limited to the Kennedy Space Center, Cape Canaveral Air Force Station and Vandenberg Air Force Base in southwest California near Lompoc. Vandenberg is the chief Pacific coast launch site for military and commercial satellites and some other testy things.
Both the Kennedy Space Center and Cape Canaveral Air Force Station are in Florida.
And now civilians are going into outer space. In April 2001, Dennis Tito became famous as the world's first “space tourist,” paying his own way on a Russian Soyuz spacecraft to spend a week on the International Space Station. Tito was followed a year later by South African internet millionaire Mark Shuttleworth. Greg Olsen, American entrepreneur and scientist, and tech businesswoman Anousheh Ansari were to follow. Ansari became the first female space tourist, the first Muslim woman in space and the first Iranian in space.
Enter Sedona, Arizona and Sir William Randolph, World Famous Publisher of the Sedona Excentric. A horde of reporters and onlookers had gathered in the parking lot of Cliff Castle Casino (voted Arizona's number one casino for the ninth year), where he had been engaged in a Texas hold-'em round with some friends earlier.
"I have gathered you here to tell you of my plans to convince NASA to erect a space shuttle launching pad near my beloved Sedona. Then, after giving them a good check for $30 million, I expect to be the first World Famous Publisher launched into outer space to spend some time on the International Space Station," Sir William addressed the crowd.
"Not only will I be the first World Famous Publisher in space, but also the first Sedonan," he continued. "I am looking forward to leading the mission on the Cerius Preservation Space Probe."
"Just how do you plan to convince NASA, with its budget restraints, to construct a brand new launching site in Sedona," asked a reporter from Sedona's small, other paper.
"Budget restraints, smudget restraints," blasted Sir William. "I have high friends throughout the Capital Beltway. Besides, if this country can afford to accidentally misplace hundreds of millions in cash in Iraq and hundreds of millions in weapons somewhere in the Mideast (and I'm not talking the Atlantic coast), it can easily afford the hundreds of millions to build and launch a shuttle from Sedona."
"Excuse me, Sir," chimed in a reporter from some national magazine. "Even if you could convince government officials to make Sedona, Arizona its newest launch site, what makes you think they will let you go up on a mission?" "New to Sedona, sonny?" Sir William laughed. "First, how can they say no to building in the neighborhood of the home of the highly favored GOP candidate for President of the Untied States? A place that had never had a hurricane. We have all that land where our sewerage is watering the weeds. And besides, Sedona really needs to find a way to raise revenue without depending entirely on the tourist industry. Second, sonny, I am Sir William Randolph, World Famous Publisher of the Sedona Excentric."
He continued, "I've tried to convince the Mayor and City Council that they could raise funds through a 2% tax on groceries and get visitors to pay for some of the infrastructure they demand while they're staying here. But no one seems to be listening."
"Just exactly what is the mission goal for the Cerius Preservation Space Probe," asked some guy.
"The key is preservation, my good man," Sir William responded. "I am taking with me a time capsule containing some of Sedona's most precious treasures. They include: a devotion to maintain a small town atmosphere; dedication to preservation of its natural resources and beauty; commitment to the promotion and appreciation of the arts; desires for a National Scenic Area designation; a photo of Red Rock Crossing; a community approved plan for the Sedona Cultural Park; and some shiny things."
With that, he gestured to the crowd and ascended back into Cliff Castle Casino for another round of poker.

Above is The Medusa Nebula, also known as Abell 21, an old star some 1,500 light -years away in the constellation Gemini.