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by Blodwyn Smythe, Spaced Out Reporter

by Blodwyn Smythe, Anniversary Reporter SEDONA: Sitting at a table on the Sedona Elk's Lodge patio, Sir William Randolph, World Famous Publisher of the Sedona Excentric, sat down with this Excentric ace reporter for an exclusive interview commemorating twenty years of publishing in and around Sedona.
BS: Sir William, how does it feel to command one of the longest running institutions in Sedona?
Sir: Well, Blodwyn, let me begin by saying you can just call me Sir. It feels great to have been at the helm of my famous publication these past twenty years.
BS: When the paper rolled out its first issue, did you ever dream it would come tom this?
Sir: Twitter me this, Blodwyn, that was the plan right from the beginning. You see, even then, businesses where hard pressed to find an advertising outlet that wasn't fluff or opinion, and could promote their products, without utilizing snail spam, while people actually enjoyed what they were reading. BS: It was a marketing venture?
Sir: Not entirely. At first, I entrusted Morrie Horowitz, the originator, to successfully publish a paper. I think it was a bar bet. By the third issue, he made Thom Stanley and MJ Barnett coconspirators. Soon, Jim Bishop, Holly Ahlberg, Doug Sutherland, Fred Esser, Larry Keiser, Susan Kliewer and Alan Caillou were adding their two cents; also what they were compensated. Later, David Fidelman, Brendon Marks, William F. Jordan, Lon Walters, Gideon Noire, Joe Evrard and Joel Mann would join the ranks along with some cartoonists that have come and gone, including the masthead designer, Ron Henry. Hell, I remember the days when the paper was cut and pasted by Thora Hodge and we flew the flats down from Sedona Airport and had them delivered by courier to the printer.
BS: Sounds like quite an endeavor, with a large and diverse cast of contributing characters.
Sir: Couldn't have done it without them. Take Alan Caillou for example. He was an author, actor, screenwriter, soldier, policeman and professional hunter, but was most proud of writing for the Excentric. He once wrote a column complaining about information on those rock signs posted at the entrances to Sedona. He alerted the public that we were promoting the date of incorporation instead of the date founded. Then he took full credit for getting those errors corrected. I could go on about the others, but they are around to fend for themselves and able to deny any claims I may attribute to them.
BS: Why the selling off of your Sedona riches?
Sir: I'm just getting my affairs straight, Blodwyn. When you're as rich and famous as I am, everyone wants a piece of you. I have recently heard from estranged relatives and wives I didn't know existed before they read this issue. So, I thought if I liquidated my physical assets and gave the money away, maybe these people would go back home and leave me alone.
BS: Exactly, what is for sale besides the popular Bell Rock Rotating Restaurant, Sir?
Sir: I just put the Sedona Castle, home to our world famous headquarters, on the market. I realize Uptown Sedona will never be the same without my coterie of beauties running in and out of the Castle, carrying out the Excentric's daily routines, but I will only sell it to owners who agree to keep the free margarita fountain flowing.
BS: I heard your yacht is also for sale. Is that true?
Sir: I am selling the entire yacht harbor, including the Sedona Yacht Club at Red Rock Crossing and the 150 foot yacht housing the Skipper Jack Floating Restaurant and Casino and draining the water. This should put an end to the cries for the bridge there once and for all. I am also selling the Excentric Water Chute near Slide Rock State Park. With summer sliders in full swing, it will fetch a hefty sum in no time.
BS: And your fleet of aircraft?
Sir: As you know, I donated my 747 air fleet to charity some years back, replaced it with a Lear, now being sold to a banking CEO.
BS: After you have liquidated your holdings, are you planning to leave your beloved Sedona?
Sir: Nope. That's be like removing chocolate topping from melted ice cream. Even if it could be done, you'd leave behind a sticky mess. It would be like leaving Sedona's National Scenic Area Designation up to the family on C Street. Sedona is way too special for that. BS: Sir William rose, took Staff Angel, Ms.
Barnett's hand and ascended into his waiting limousine.

Pictured above is one of the amazing photos of Sir William's belongings. For more photos, check out Sedona 2001 and beyond. photo © Holly Ahlberg Productions.