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by Blodwyn Smythe,
Down Wind Reporter

SEDONA: Millions of people from around the globe find their way to the majestic red rocks of Sedona, AZ each year, many hoping to experience a much anticipated spiritual transmogrification. While some are satisfied to drink in the vast beauty that is Sedona, others take lengthy treks into the crimson mountains to meditate among the ravens, geckos and javelina and ponder the meaning of life.
Imitation medicine wheels and stone cairns are often spotted along pathways, marking the illuminating journeys of light seeking visitors. While there have been no reports of burning bushes or sages walking out of the hills with stone tablets carved with life's directives, over the decades, many have departed Sedona claiming to have had a profound religious cognition.
Recently, reports of profound spiritual realizations have been coming out of Cornville, AZ. A couple from New Zealand told a story of how, while sitting in their rental car in front of the new mural adorning the building at KC's Corner, the couple swore they were getting a message from the image of the pig on the mural. It was as if he was telling them to order the fish and chips at the Grasshopper Grill. Returning to their car after a hearty lunch and a couple of drafts of Oak Creek Brewery Amber, the pig now seemed to be smiling and giving a thumbs up. Unable to explain this paranormal experience, the couple thought perhaps there must be a Sedona vortex connection.
A couple of weeks ago, a foreign exchange student from Texas had been purchasing some home grown veggies and eggs from Ross and Christa at Windmill Park, when she had a vision of a Native American maiden holding a papoose and a stalk of corn. She continued her Cornville summer education without giving the ethereal image much thought until she received a text message from her sister telling her she was going to be an aunt. And, they were naming the baby girl Zea Mays. And, her sister was an Air Force Colonel. Get it? Colonel, like kernel of corn. Could these have been mere coincidences? This young Texan thought not. There was something in the air that Monday evening at the Cornville Park besides Cottonwood seeds.
Experiences of this type are often promulgated in Sedona and explained away with ease as encounters with the mystical powers emanating from the Vortexes. But these events took place in parts of Cornville, some ten plus miles west of Sedona, home to the inventor of the toothbrush, superb wineries and Senator John McCain; an area where it is acceptable to decorate your goat and back yard refrigerator, sans door, at Christmas with battery operated lights; where the number of tattoo parlors equals the number of restaurants.
Upon learning of the Cornville tales, Sir William Randolph, World Famous Publisher of the Sedona Excentric hastily called a press conference in the parking lot of the Highway Café, summoning reporters from as far away as Jerome.
"I have summoned you here to assuage your fears that Sedona has lost its Vortexes," Sir William calmly stated. "Only two Vortexes have relocated to Cornville.
"As some of you may know, we have experienced one of the windiest Springs since weather has been recorded in the Verde Valley. As a result, two of the Vortexes have been blown down the road a bit."
"Are you saying that the mystical swirling auras of energy have been pushed by nature from Sedona to Cornville," asked a reporter from Sedona's small, other paper.
"Only two that we know of," answered Sir William. "There have been a couple of reports of odd occurrences along LLoyd Road, but there have been odd things happening on LLoyd Road since I can remember. So, I would say that the new locations of the Vortexes are Windmill Park and KC's Corner."
"Which two from Sedona left?" the reporter pressed.
"The Airport Mesa Vortex and Boynton Canyon Vortex are whirling about," Sir William replied. "Cathedral Rock Vortex seems to have been whisked to Cornville. The Bell Rock Vortex relocation shouldn't be a big deal, since it was in the Village anyway. Now it's in Cornville, about the same distance.
Cottonwood and Camp Verde have offered to buy one of the Vortexes from Cornville. At least the Vortexes didn't follow Page Bryant to a Smoky Mountain in Waynesville, N.C. as originally rumored."
With that, Sir William gestured to the crowd and ascended into his waiting limousine.

Sedona's Chapel of the Holy Cross was completed in 1956, designed by Marguerite Bruswig Staude. While not a Vortex, it is said to inspire those paying homage.