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July, 2010  The Slightly Sane Satire Of Sedona,  The World & Beyond Since 1989!   Vol 21, Issue 12

Excentric
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Page Sixteen
Page Seventeen
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More Church Bulletin Bloopers . . .

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.”

Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

“Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.” The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.

Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

Don’t let worry kill you off — let the Church help.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm —prayer and medication to follow.

OUR VENERABLE STAFF:

Sir William Randolph: Publisher
Morrie Horowitz: Originator
Thom Stanley: Editor
Blodwyn Smythe: Staff Ace Reporter
Jim Bishop Jr.: Staff Dignitary
M. J. Barnett: Staff Resident Angel
Doug Sutherland: Staff Realist
Lush Gumball: Staff Kozmologist
David Fidelman: Staff Theorist
Sasha Cederlund: Staff Balloon Rev
Brendon Marks: Staff Sage
William F. Jordan: Staff Alien Guy
Gideon Noir: Staff Cottonwood Guy
Ranger Bob: Staff Circulator
Joseph G. Evrard: Staff Kentucky Guy
Joel Mann: Staff Wine Sampler
Tess & Moeshe: Staff Mascots

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You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
Stanislaw J. Lec

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