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by Blodwyn Smythe,
Starry, Starry Knight Reporter

SEDONA: They packed meetings with citizens concerned their small town, dark sky, rural atmosphere was fading into the light. The luminescence expected to accompany the proposed 93 lights on SR 89A could possibly produce enough light to spill into surrounding areas and prevent participation in the once-popular practice of star gazing. Though the residents opposed to lighting the entire length of the highway were vocal, their logic seemed to fall on deaf ears.
A similar situation with the same agency, Arizona Department of Transportation, raised its head some years back when the agency proposed a cookie-cutter solution to widening an entrance to Sedona from the south. ADOT officials stubbornly offered their design again and again to an unreceptive audience. After numerous town hall meetings, called by Voice of Choice for 179, ADOT's leaders conceded there was a plan more suitable for Sedona and later received international recognition for its cooperative efforts in working with Sedona's citizenry.
So, what has changed?
People worldwide are preparing for the end of days, December 21, 2012, to be exact. A vast number of people believe that Sedona will be receiving visitors from surrounding planets who are either eager and willing to perish within the crimson cliffs of Sedona's spires or graciously selecting Sedonans to take back with them to the planets they call home.
In its current state, though recently being bestowed the dubious distinction as an urban city, Sedona lacks the proper lighting for a landing strip for sophisticated extraterrestrial vessels. An Excentric poll revealed that most visitors to the Sedona area who hail from actual urban cities marveled at their ability to view stars, planets,constellations and even the Milky Way.
It would seem some Sedona city council members and ADOT officials recognize the potential disaster would UFOs attempt to land without the proper lighting. Perhaps they have had a chance to review some of the correspondence from those standing with light baggage in hand who have been left behind by visiting aliens because it was just too dark to land. While it is true some alien crafts hover, like the crop circle creators, there still was not enough light to retrieve the anxious passengers, eager to be beamed on board.
One can only imagine the disappointment of being stranded at an al fresco airport night after night, not due to icy wings or inclement weather, but due to the lack of a proper landing strip. Night after night people make plans, pack a few belonging, perhaps a shoulder bag and carry-on, and stand on the sidewalks on SR 89A blinking a flashlight to signal a UFO. And, night after night that object whizzes by without pause looking for a real urban city that still retains the ambience, charm and diversified tolerance of Sedona.
Of course, one has to ponder that while the street lights may make it possible for aircraft from outer space to land, the people standing on the tarmac will face the difficult task of actually spotting the UFOs due to the new lighting. Sir William Randolph, World Famous Publisher of the Sedona Excentric, leapt on the bed of an empty pickup truck in the Basha's parking lot recently, raised his arms and a huge crowd gathered. "I have a plan to save Red Rock State Park," he shouted.
"I had been observing the people who had assembled to protest the removal of mago, the statue beside the tall towers of the Catholic church in Cottonwood. I firmly believe that since the statue has been removed, these people will be in of need a new cause. My plan is to organize them and other unemployed protestors to boycott all Arizona bait and tackle shops, denying the state that tax revenue, until lawmakers agree to keep the Park open. I expect the state legislators will come to their senses in no time."
"Is Sedona a big city or urban city," asked some person exiting Saddlerock Barn Consignments.
"I believe everything is relative. Perhaps compared to Rim Rock, Sedona is a big city, or when looked at next to Lake Montezuma, Sedona may seem urban. I wonder if they are including the Village of Oak Creek, the area nine miles south of Sedona. The business taxes from the Village alone, could very well catapult Sedona into the urban or big city status."
With that, Sir William gestured to the crowd and ascended into his waiting limousine.

Pictured above is an artist's rendition of the current landing strip in Sedona. It's obvious to anyone that no visiting spacecraft could land here safely.