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Excentric | The Ant & Grasshopper Story, 2010THE MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself! CURRENT VERSION: The Ants had built their Colony into a major Earthmoving Corporation. Their Ant CEO seems to spend a lot of time making the corporation profitable to keep his winter bonus and his Ant shareholders fat and happy. To raise their corporate stocks, the Ants outsource many of the jobs and downsize the Colony by reducing the Minimum Wage Digger Ants work hours until they are forced to retire. The Grasshopper used to love to play his fiddle. At one time, he had been employed by the Ants as a subcontractor to entertain them. They didn't have to provide him healthcare or a pension or a 401-k Plan. He was the first to go after the downturn ("The Arts" have little or no value in the Ant world.) He starved to death in the cold. The corporation's remaining Core Ants, still with the Colony, were Salary employees. They feared for job security. They didn't want to end up like the Digger Ants, so they took on all the remaining work of the Colony, working 70+ hour work weeks, at no additional pay and never taking sick days for fear of being laid-off. The CEO Ant proudly announced at a shareholder meeting that the Colony continued to show a profit and that productivity soared, up 10% in these slow times. Bonuses for all!...well except for the Core Ants. Their lives got remarkably worse. As the economy began to show some signs of improvement, the Core Ants hoped at last that the Colony would start to hire back some of their unemployed Digger Ants and the Core Ants could go back to working their normal 50+ hour work weeks. Instead, there was a hiring freeze to secure maximum profits. The CEO Ant again increased the remaining Core Ants workload. Core Ants began to age rapidly and die. Ant depression, domestic violence and alcoholism rates were up. Ant families began to split up. Production decreased as foreign employee Ants unionized. For the first time, Colony Inc. lost money and needed a bail-out. FOX News, who no longer had the Grasshopper to blame for everything, including the Colony's poor performance, started a media blitz with headlines that read,"Colony Inc. Too big to fail." No one dares to disagree. PBS, CNN, CBS and all the newspapers were far too liberal to receive bailout money and the government simply allowed them to fail. Thanks to a Supreme Court ruling, Colony Inc. had been allowed to spend many millions of dollars to buy off all the Stink Bugs and Dung Beetles in Congress with campaign contributions. So, when it came time for a favor, all the Congressional Insects wiggled their antennas in agreement. As expected, the bail-out bill went through. Colony Inc. again paid out record bonuses and stocks soared. THE MORAL OF THE STORY: It doesn't matter how you vote in 2010. It's how much money you have to contribute to the Stink Bugs and Dung Beetles running for Congress! Submitted by Robert Schmierer | 
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If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the bureaucracy won't. Hyman Rickover Return to the top of this page |
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